Waiting in the Dark
by Raeburns3
Summary: Jacob wished he never joined the army. He wished he could run again. But he knows his actions lead to these consequences - and that's just something he has to live with. Post War. Based on poem 'DISABLED' by Wilfred Owen. Give it a read.


**My response to the poem 'DISABLED' by Wildred Owen. I thought it was so beautifully written, I had to share it with you guys in someway. **

**PLEASE READ THE BOLD/ITALIC POEM PARTS.**

**- (This does not contain all of the poem)**

**JacobxBella.**

**REVIEW**

* * *

**_He sat in a wheeled chair, waiting for dark,_**

**_And shivered in his ghastly suit of grey,_**

**_Legless, sewn short at elbow._**

**_Through the park_**

**_Voices of boys rang saddening like a hymn,_**

**_Till gathering sleep had mothered them from him._**

It was all he ever wanted to do.

He wanted to fight for his country and feel proud like he did. He didn't mind the blood shed, because it was all for a good cause. His father had been so proud when he had told him his plans of joining the army and it made him smile. His mother had cried tears of joy for her son, making him promise that he would come home soon.

Yes. He would come home soon.

But not like before.

He had heard of the great tales of what it was like to fight in the war - not the _same_ war, but still - and from what it sounded like, it wasn't such a bad job to take. It wasn't like everyone died, was it? He would be fighting for his country alongside other men who believed the same. He would still come home _whole_ and well - and then, be able to tell his own children one day of what it was like to honour their country.

He hoped.

* * *

His mother cried when she saw him for the first time since. Jacob knew that it wasn't due to happiness - more to sadness - but he smiled teary eyed nonetheless. He leaned up to embrace her - something he would have to get used to - and pressed his face into the crook of her neck, breathing in the smell of _home_ he had **missedsomuch.** Jacob watched his father walk out of the house next, trying not to feel as much hurt as he did when his father took one look as him and burst into heart tugging tears.

Jacob wished he had never gone.

"Your son served us well Mrs Black, and you remember that Jake," his partner throughout patted him on his shoulder and smiled down at him, "You did our country proud."

Jake really didn't think so.

He said his goodbyes to his friend before turning back to his bleary eyed mother.

"Here, let's get you inside," His mother went to stand behind him but Jake stopped her.

"No," he shook his head, slinging his duffle bag over his back, "I can do this."

Paralyzed from the waist down, Jacob reached down with trembling fingers to wheel himself _home_.

* * *

**_And girls glanced lovelier as the air grew dim,_**

**_— In the old times, before he threw away his knees,_**

**_Now he will never feel again how slim_**

**_Girls' waists are, or how warm their subtle hands,_**

**_____All of them touch him like some queer disease._**

He thought it would be better now that he was home.

In many ways it was - but then in more ways it wasn't.

There were the physically challenging tasks of course - like showering and getting in and out of bed, but Jacob had always been a strong man, and he could deal with those obstacles.

It wasn't from the beginning, but he noticed it over time - how people looked at him differently. How children would point at him in the street and ask their mommies why that man was in a wheelchair. How previously, women would have taken one look at him and blushed all the way to their toes at how _handsome_ he was - and not fully understanding why it wasn't like that anymore. Not understanding why their eyes slid past his figure as they walked by on the street and over to his friends that were whole - but had never done anything for their country like he had.

It wasn't like he had changed from the man he used to be. Yes, his eyes had witnessed sights that he still had horrifying nightmares about.

But he was still Jacob.

Only disabled.

And that was what made him invisible.

**_One time he liked a bloodsmear down his leg,_**

**_After the matches carried was after football, _**

**_when he'd drunk a peg,_**

**_He thought he'd better join. He wonders why . . ._**

* * *

It wasn't like he thought.

Not during it or after.

And he still wished he had never gone.

He wished he could still be whole.

He wished he could run.

* * *

Months after he had given up hope, _she_ walked into his life.

Literally.

"Yeah, okay, I'll be back in a sec-GAH! _Shit!_" Jacob was sitting with his friends, just for a few beers before he headed home, when someone came tumbling onto his numb lap, knocking the drink out of his hands.

Jacob's hands instinctively reached out of grab hold of the woman, so as she wouldn't fall straight to the floor - his rough calloused hands firmly held the woman's soft waist as she naturally went to grab hold of his t-shirt to steady herself.

Through an embarrassed face - Jacob never thought he live to see the day he saw the most beautiful woman in his embrace.

And as he stared at her, holding her tight…

She stared back.

* * *

Laughter broke their heart stopping moment and the pale woman's face turned flushed a delicate pink again as she scrambled to get up, only realising that she had fallen into a man _in a wheelchair _as tears of humiliation started to burn in her eyes.

"I'm so sorry!" She cried in horror, before making a quick shaky exit outside before Jacob could protest.

His hand still reached for her when she was out of the door.

* * *

He found her though.

Sitting on the top step of the bar, her head resting in her hands, her long mahogany tresses cascading down her back as she stared up at the glowing moon.

"I'm okay, you know," Jacob watched as she jumped with a squeak turning to face him with wide, beautiful eyes.

She went to open her mouth to blurt out another apology for the sake of it, but he stopped her with a wave of his hand.

"I don't want to hear it. I understand."

She closed her mouth and nodded.

"Although I have to say, that was a first. I don't think anyone has ever fell onto me before," he chuckled sadly, "No one really seems to see that I'm there most of the time."

"I saw you," she offered him a shy smile.

"Not intentionally. But yes," he smiled back, "You did. And thank you."

"Thank you for catching me…?"

"Jacob. Jake Black."

She smiled a smile that reached the depths of Jacob's empty heart, "Bella Swan."

Bella spoke to Jacob long after their friends had left, both of them sitting under the _whole_ moon, laughing at stories both thought they would never share.

But sharing them with each other nonetheless.

Bella was a clumsy woman, which was not the wisest of people to hang around with when you were ridden to a wheelchair for the inconceivable future - but her clumsiness inevitably lead her to Jake.

And it was the best thing that happened to him.

**_Now, he will spend a few sick years in Institutes,_**

**_And do what things the rules consider wise,_**

**_And take whatever pity they may dole_**

**_To-night he noticed how the women's eyes_**

**_Passed from him to the strong men that were whole_**

**_How cold and late it is! Why don't they come_**

**_And put him into bed? Why don't they come?_**

Three years later, Jacob lay in bed and finally understood the saying _'everything happens for a reason'._

Jacob understood that he had been put in a wheelchair for a reason.

And that reason lay in his arms, sleeping contently.

Jacob felt like he couldn't have done better than Bella Swan. The Bella Swan who had fallen into his lap. The same woman who proposed _to him_! six months later, in her shy, kind of way. The woman who a year ago, had given Jacob a beautiful baby daughter to call his and now carried their second.

The woman who he could call his own.

Although not always, but more now than ever, Jacob was happy in his decision to go to war.

Because if not, his sweet Bella would have never fallen into his lap.

And for to that, Jacob doesn't wait in the dark.

Because everything happened for a reason.

* * *

**REVIEW please? I dont usually do one shots, especially poem based ones, so please tell me what you think!**

**X**


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